This has been a ... different week at work. A coworker died Monday of cancer. She had been sick for almost a year and we all knew it was coming. She did a lot of great things for the school and the kids. However, I barely knew her and, when I did have occasion to work with her, found her kind of irritating and needy. As did most of the staff.
Now that she's gone, though, it's all teeth gnashing and hand-wringing and how will we go on without her. I fucking hate that shit. The same women who acted out 'Mean Girls' on her are suddenly organizing memorials and talking about how she was an "angel on earth." I have absolutely zero patience for rewriting the history of the dead and (especially) the part we played in it. When my friend Carrie died, people did the same thing. It made me feel like they were taking away the REAL person that I knew, the person I argued with and who could be petty and bitchy and mean but who I loved just like that, and replacing her with this ideal, wonderful, perfect--oh yes--angel on earth who I didn't even recognize.
My assistant was pretty good friends with the woman and she mentioned something about this. About the hypocrisy. I think she's really pissed about it. All of these people pretending they were great friends with this woman and knew her so well feels like it diminishes the real friendship my assistant had with her.
Projection, projection, projection.
I decided not to go to the wake or the funeral. I feel like I have nothing to offer there, no good memories to share, stories to tell ... I do want to think of something to do for my assistant, though. I need to figure out what.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
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1 comment:
Doesn't have to be anything big, could just be a coffee from Starbucks or a box of tea... she'll know why and appreciate the sentiment.
Though I bet a scarf would go over really well, especially since you still have some winter left.
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