I Married a Cruel Man

Happy New Year!

1. I can't believe it's 2006 already. I remember ringing in 2000 ... and since then, it's been a big effin' blur. I can pick out a few New Years since then ... but SIX?!? No way. And, no. Not because I was so drunk.

2. Well. There is no 2.

So, we just got back from a long, three-day weekend. Like a normal person, I had big, big plans for those three days, that involved not getting out of my pajamas for 72 whole hours, watching movies, and eating comfort foods and leftover Christmas cookies.

This is not how it went down.

My husband had other plans for me. I got home on Friday to find my entire house covered in white powder. No, D's cocaine stash did not explode. Our fall project was to re-do our kitchen. That involved first moving our washer and dryer out of a closet in there, then knocking out the closet. So we did actually do that in the fall, but that's as far as we got. Friday, D finished replastering and sanding the walls and ceiling where the closet had been, making it ready to paint.

A trip to Home Depot, a scratched Corvette, and $400 later, I found myself painting all weekend long.

In the great D-n-A division of labor, painting falls under my purview. D hates to paint, and I love it, so I'm painter-in-chief, he is sous-painter. On Saturday, I painted the ceiling, Sunday we did the walls, and Monday the cupboards. And Tuesday the cupboards. And tonight the cupboards. And tomorrow the cupboards. The cupboards in all their new shiny ivoryness can kiss my ass.

The kitchen looks freaking awesome though. The walls are an apple green (Behr Grass Cloth, if you want to check it out online), and the cupboards are the color of vanilla ice cream. I'll post before and after pictures when it's all done.

One more bitch. I want my house back! New Years weekend is for taking down Christmas decorations. So all of that shit is still everywhere, covered in plaster dust, and the decorations that were in the kitchen are piled on the living room furniture. The microwave is on the floor in the downstairs bedroom, our pots and pans are on the futon in the study, every flat surface in the kitchen is covered with either cupboard doors or drawers to be painted. We have about a sqare foot of island space to get meals together and make coffee, and two clear spots on the couch to sit and eat. I need to fill out all of my HR forms for the new job before Monday and don't have any flat place where I can write! And I discovered this morning that our kitchen sink is totally clogged and the garbage disposal won't work (my guess is it's all gummed up with paint). I walk in the door and I'm totally overwhelmed with all there is to do--shit everywhere, it's filthy, our kitchen is unusable, and our dog has a green neck and a vanilla colored ear. Our Christmas tree is going to be up until February.

On our next three-day weekend, D and I will be celebrating the life of Martin Luther King, Jr., by ripping out linoleum and installing a new TBD floor.