Beachy Keen

Yesterday, we took both kids to the beach.

Yikes.

LD hasn't been to the beach since he was a little sand-eater two years ago and Gav has (obvs) never been. Due to circumstances, we didn't make it there as early as I'd hoped and dreamed and planned. That meant it was already hella hot and creeping pretty damn close to lunch-/naptime.

It was still awesome. LD loved it. Ran right into the water, looked up at me and said, "I can sit?" Of course, baby. Lake Michigan is your oyster.

We didn't stay long. The weekend away from home and all that was familiar to his two months of experience was wearing on Gav. He lost his shit about an hour in and I sent D the roll out sign. We agreed that I would haul Gav back up the hot, sandy hill to the car while D corralled LD and all of our shit.

I was surprised at how little shit that was. Blankets, towels, sunscreen, umbrella**, diaper bag.

Where was I?

Chubby infant in a car seat, hot hill.

The sand was blazing hot and my 7-year-old $3 Old Navy flip flops weren't offering much protection as I lugged my little beefcake in a bucket. My twenty postpartum pounds weren't helping either. And I wasn't wearing pants. I looked up and in the glare of the sun on the sand, I saw a beautiful couple having their engagement photos taken at the crest of the hill. Suddenly I felt very sweaty, very old, very fat, and very aware that I wasn't wearing pants.

I thought about stopping and putting on my shorts, but my bathing suit (or "babysuit" as LD calls it) was still really wet. I just didn't want to.

On I huffed, salty sweat burning my eyes, crazy hair falling out of my sorta-ponytail. When I got to the top of the hill, the photographers (Plural, über hipster guys.) lowered their cameras and told me to take my time. I almost turned to the couple and said, "I WAS ONCE LIKE YOU AND SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE ME!" but decided not to shit on their memories of their engagement photos. Instead I panted out, "What? You don't want a picture of this?"

They didn't seem to think it was as funny as I did.

**We got this umbrella specifically for this beach outing and both agreed that it's one of the most useful things we have purchased recently. Easy to set up, totally necessary for a beach trip with kids. P.S. If you pay 60 bucks for it, we are no longer friends.